just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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