I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
