someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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