This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
