I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
