so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
