"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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