I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
