I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
