You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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