ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize