You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
