Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
