Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
