I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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