Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
