Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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