Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Randomize