Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
