I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
