come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
