chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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