I think I died a long time ago.
is wine microwaveable?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
