we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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