Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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