Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
