Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
