I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
