ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
