I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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