I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize