Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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