I accidentally had phone sex last night
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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