Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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