That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
