By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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