ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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