Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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