She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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