If that was your dad, he is hot
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
