you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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