Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
