it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
