Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize