I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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