Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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