I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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