Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
