when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
