You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
