I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
