I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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