i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You ruined the universe
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
