she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
