you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
