There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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