Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
