Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
