Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
